Gay fatigue is sick of the constant gay stories

How can we address

I would worry constantly about what others thought of me. Feeling a bit of gay fatigue? These were the times I think anxiety started to creep into my daily experience. You’re not alone. An experience that straight men do not have to live with.

High school, like for many gay men I know, was when the stress of an evolving sexuality really kicked in. It was in year 12 that I had my first panic attack. I was convinced I was showing the first signs of schizophrenia, and was reluctant to tell anyone about my experiences for fear of being medicated or institutionalised.

In today's world, the gay community has gained a lot of visibility, which is great in many ways. I remember feeling like I was outside of my own body, an intense sense of impending doom, and waves of terror going through me.

This constant attention to my behaviour only increased my self-consciousness in a negative way. I think the constant vigilance about revealing yourself is a big trigger for anxiety in gay men. This teacher was an ex-football player and much admired by the boys in the class, so I am sure the message sunk in deep; gays are predatory perverts who should feel ashamed.

I was bullied and picked on at times. In this quiet reflection from the woods, I share my thoughts on stepping away from the noise, choosing peace over drama, and living queer life on. The other day, my friend Ben (not his real name) popped out with a surprising statement.

That means (in the context of this post) reading works by adult gay men, aimed at adult gay men— obviously, I hope, the same can be said with any part of the community. “But, lately, I’ve been experiencing gay fatigue.” Ben. Basically, when someone says 'gay fatigue is sick of the constant gay stories', they're expressing a form of exhaustion.

Now, it seemed gay men were also diseased, and were spreading that disease throughout the world. “I don’t know about you,” he confessed. I started getting headaches, bloating and other somatic issues I now know were stress related.

Queer Tired and Okay

It is a confusing time for all people, but seems particularly so for those same-sex attracted. I wanted the acceptance of friends, family and broader society. Years later, I am now a happy and proud man, with a wonderful loving partner and an extensive circle of close friends and community.

From an early age I knew there was something different about me. The media pointed the finger at the spread of the disease to gay men. To do this I would have to be honest about who I was. I remember a friend poking me once in the side and being surprised by how tense I was—I just assumed everyone held their muscles tense all day long!

Friends were beginning to talk about their attraction to girls in class, and I felt confused about my own feelings. I wanted to love and to be loved. In primary school I was too young to know I was attracted to the same sex, but I was aware that I behaved differently to the other boys in school.

The works that allies should be grappling with, at least once they’ve made it past the ‘’ stage, are the ones that challenge the acceptance they think they have. I wanted to be an authentic and honest person. The grim reaper was appearing on TV advertisements bowling over families to an early death.

There were kids I would go out of my way to avoid for fear of being picked on or even physically attacked. Messages from friends, family and the media had already enforced the notion that being gay, poofy or feminine was bad and unacceptable.

Nature or nurture I will never know, but most of my gay mates were similar. I became hypervigilant of saying things and behaving in a more masculine way so that no one would perceive me as being gay.